Holy Matrimony
HVMC’s Family Life Ministry organised a Pre-Marriage Course in March 2023, and a Marriage Course in July 2023. The former comprised of five weekly sessions, while the latter of seven fortnightly sessions, culminating in a graduation dinner held on 27 October. Four young couples attended the Pre-Marriage Course conducted by Anthony and Hui Ling Goh from Bedok Methodist Church, whilst six not-so-young couples went for the Marriage Course, facilitated by some of our very own church members.
LESSONS FOR LIFE TOGETHER
We attended the Alpha Pre-Marriage Course, hoping to better prepare ourselves as we work towards making a lifelong commitment to one another.
Every session was built around a video, with several intervals for each couple to answer some questions or discuss the subject matter.
Throughout the course, husband-and-wife team, Anthony and Hui Ling, guided us and shared openly about their own struggles and how they overcame them.
The course content was very practical, from conflict resolution, to financial planning, to understanding how each other’s upbringing influences our communication styles. Everything was centred around helping couples deepen their understanding of each other in order to navigate challenges together more positively.
There were also practice tools, comprising exercises done privately between the couples, after which we would come together to discuss our reflections with the others. The questions were carefully crafted to encourage each person to think deeper about him/herself as well as the relationship.
The sessions provided us with the dedicated space and time to really dive into hard topics that are easily ignored in our busy lives and the lessons learned certainly will stick with us for years to come!
Even though the course has ended, our church still supports each couple’s journey by assigning an experienced “mentor couple” to continue to provide guidance and support. Our mentors are Kevin and Peggy Tham and we couldn’t be more grateful for how supportive they have been in our relationship. Through open conversation and fellowship over meals, we have gained much insight from their own experiences in their marriage.
The course was impactful and we are glad we set aside the time for it!
Jessica Bose & Akshay Sinha
KEEPING THE GLOW ALIVE
The last marriage seminar my husband Lawrence and I had attended, was more than twenty years ago so I was really keen to attend the Alpha Marriage Course.
We looked forward to every session as the guided questions in the course journal were very practical and specific. We realised that there were still many areas we had yet to discover about each other, despite thirty-three years of marriage.
We were reminded of the need to plan regular dates together. We thought that we were already spending a lot of time together, going grocery shopping, eating out, taking walks, visiting friends / relatives and having people over for a meal etc. It was suggested that dates should be planned intentionally with the objective of:
rekindling the romance
deepening our understanding and appreciation of each other
having regular dedicated time to communicate on a meaningful level.
There was time allocated for conversations with each other. We particularly liked Reflective Listening, when we had to identify an issue upsetting us currently. We would take turns to express our feelings about the issue without being interrupted and the listener would then ask reflective questions like, “Is there anything you like me/us to do about what you have just said?”
The content of the course was comprehensive and allowed us to identify our likes and dislikes, areas of conflict, how we could resolve them, and in what ways our family background and upbringing might have affected our marriage. The guided questions helped us to identify our differences and our expectations of each other, especially in the way we communicated with our grown-up children in terms of their values, lifestyle and how we could spend meaningful family time together.
The course helped us recognise that marriage is not static and we need to work on it constantly - to communicate at a meaningful level, actively listen to each other and make special effort to keep the glow alive in our marriage!
Ling Ai Choo
