Finding A Path Back To God
“God does not die on the day we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illumined by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason.”
- Dag Hammarskjold
I was struck by this quotation as the words seem particularly pertinent in my quest to re-dedicate my life to God, and finding my path back to God, through Jesus.
I was born into a Christian family, with my grandparents and parents very much involved in the Paya Lebar Chinese Methodist Church. There was never any question that my elder siblings and I would not lead Christian lives. I attended Sunday school and a Christian School – ACS. In the later years, my siblings and I attended Wesley Methodist Church until sometime before my first year of university. Thereafter I slowly drifted away from church.
Drifting Away from God
Following national service, chasing a career and a failed first marriage, my drift away from God became more pronounced and complete. In the last 50 years, I have been wandering aimlessly “in the wilderness”, so to speak.
Looking back, I knew I had made many mistakes and led a life which was not fulfilling my Christian upbringing. And, while the thought had always been that I should find my way back to God, I never felt strong, or committed enough to take that path.
Retirement in Thailand
About 13 years ago, my wife and I retired, and established a comfortable home in the seaside resort city of Hua Hin in Thailand, where spiritual concerns seemed even less important.
But as the years went by, I felt something missing, became bored and wondered if I could be doing something more meaningful. About five years ago, I started talking to friends and former business associates about returning to work or doing some community service.
It was then that two of my close friends suggested I should renew my relationship with God and Jesus. I took their advice. They were patient with me, and gently nudged me back to God by emailing reading materials, videos, even worship music to help “ease” me back to living a faithful and prayerful life.
Missing a Church to Worship in
However, one most important thing was missing – a church to attend in Hua Hin. Except for a Catholic church, the other churches conducted their services in Thai.
No amount of reading, prayer and worshipping alone can replace the joy and comfort of attending a physical church service. The sense of community and fellowship of being a member of a church is critical to spiritual development.
To fill this void, in early 2020, I decided that I should return to Singapore as soon as possible, so that my friends could introduce me to their church - HVMC.
Covid Struck
However, all plans to return had to be put on hold, as I was stuck in Hua Hin with the raging pandemic and border lockdowns. I continued with my readings and prayers.
Then it was announced that churches, including HVMC, were having their services livestreamed. This was great news! I benefited immensely each Sunday, as the livestreamed services gave me a feeling of belonging and togetherness in prayer and worship. Being able to follow the sermon series and events at HVMC was a good introduction to the Church and getting me back to a faith-filled life. It was also wonderful “getting to know“ HVMC, the pastors and the key personnel, before I actually got to meet them personally.
Attending church at HVMC
When the borders finally opened, I returned to Singapore in July 2022, with the full intention of attending HVMC the following Sunday. But it was not meant to be.
The day after I arrived, I slipped and broke my foot! I was in crutches for about a month. So, it was back to livestreaming on my return to Hua Hin.
When I returned to Singapore just before Holy Week this year, it was agreed, and arranged with my dear friends, that Palm Sunday was “D Day” for my first attendance at HVMC. Again, it was not meant to be. This time my wife had some medical issues which required my attendance.
All Good on Good Friday!
Finally, after much prayer and determination, I made it for the Good Friday service! Praise God, Thank God!
I was overwhelmed by the warm welcome when I met with Pastor-in-Charge Rev Jeremy Ong, many of the church leaders and members of the congregation. It was almost like re-connecting with “old friends”, since I had already been “meeting” with them for the last three years via livestream from Hua Hin. Most of all, it felt really good to be back in church, after almost 50 years!
Easter Sunday and the following Sunday were joyful days at HVMC, as I met more of the congregation and church leaders. After one of the church services, I had the opportunity to follow some of the befrienders in their outreach visits to families in the neighbourhood. It was heart-warming to see the work being done to help the needy in the community.
I have since returned to Hua Hin. But I am definitely looking forward to my next visit to Singapore. See you all in church then!
Blessings to All at HVMC!
Ong Jin Seng
