A Silent Birthday Treat
The Main Chapel – open to the public for Sunday mass
For the past two years, I had chosen to spend time alone with the Lord on my birthday, but this year, I felt compelled to dig deeper, and committed myself to a three-day silent retreat at the well-known Seven Fountains Jesuit Spirituality Centre in Chiang Mai.
My residence during the retreat
The defining characteristic of the Centre was that all retreats, group or individual, are made in genuine silence, for us to find the Lord more easily and deeply. They ask that all mobile devices be put aside, and silence is observed everywhere on the grounds at all times. They used to keep the retreatants’ devices, but now they operate on the basis of trust, whether in the use of devices or in venturing beyond its grounds to explore and to speak to outsiders.
Trying to find myself in The Labyrinth in my daily walk with God
Some of my friends confessed that they probably could not bear the thought of not speaking. But, it was not a struggle for me. I relished the silence all round, in the chapels, the labyrinth, the bamboo grove, and the gardens. What I was unsure about was whether I could resist the temptation of reaching for my phone. But my spiritual director, Father Olivier Morin, reminded me at the outset, that I was there for silence, for the purpose of seeking the Lord, so that settled it. I locked away my phone and did not feel the urge to get to it; so filled was my day with meditating on the daily devotional pieces, attending mass and just enjoying being there with the Lord at all times.
My favourite spots for meditation – The Adoration Room and the swing in the Bamboo Grove
So, what did I get out of it? I am thankful to a newfound friend at the Centre, who told me I should not approach the retreat with a set list of expectations, like seeking a prophetic word. Instead, I was just to soak in the opportunity to be away from it all to spend time with the Lord, giving Him delight, and in the process, to rest and be healed. Which was precisely what I treasured the most, just walking hand in hand with Him in this hallowed place.
There were two other highlights for me. One was from a passage from Gary Thomas’ book, “Sacred Pathways”, which talked about how stunned Henri Nouwen had been by Rembrandt’s “Return of the Prodigal Son”. Nouwen said that it “set in motion a long spiritual adventure that brought me to a new understanding of my vocation”, resulting in his ministry to a community of mentally disabled adults (L’Arche). I told myself I must seek out this powerful painting when I had my phone back, but lo and behold, the next day, one of my meditation pieces had a picture of this very painting!
The other was from Luke 5:2, Jesus “saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by fishermen, who were washing their nets”. He had called Simon Peter and the other fishermen to follow Him and when they obeyed Him, they succeeded in pulling up a big haul of fish. God’s rhema word to me was that if I am to cast out my net, I too, have to wash it first, to declutter my mind of all the things that were not of and from Him, and to obey Him.
I am still digesting the richness of this silent retreat birthday gift to myself!
Yeoh Chee Koon
MOSAIC Editorial Team
