My ‘Crown of Thorns’
By Caroline Ho
The Lord truly works in each of our lives in different ways. In mid-December 2023, I experienced an excruciating pain in my head - it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The first scan indicated there was no internal bleeding. But as the pain was so intense, I was put through three more comprehensive MRI scans of my head, neck and spine. They all indicated that there was nothing amiss in my brain.
In my weakest moments, when I had to constantly hold my entire head with both hands and close my eyes in order to bear the pain, all I could think of was the crown of thorns on Jesus’ head. I felt that the pain and suffering I was going through, was nothing compared to what Christ had endured. And that really broke me inside. “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). He is the only one who took our pain and bore our suffering. I recall crying out to the Lord to help me brush my teeth, even as I struggled to hold the toothbrush, while my other hand supported my head which was swirling in pain. I would be gasping in short bursts of breath to manage the discomfort and at times, I would throw up when the nausea kicked in; the only strength I could draw on was a deep assurance that He is in me, I was not suffering alone, and that He was going through every single minute with me.
MY ONLY RELIEF…
Every day in hospital, my only relief was lying flat on the bed as I couldn’t sit up for long. All I could see in front of me, was this beautiful interlocking motif which reminded me that the Lord has a beautiful design for each of us in our lives. Not a single tile is out of place. Every curve is perfectly aligned – truly a reminder of how precious we are as His handiwork, His workmanship.
I had a further four rounds of investigations, after which the neurologist’s hypothesis was a possible leak in my cerebral spinal fluid (CSF). However, none of the tests indicated a CSF leak. What was recommended was rest and hydration, and in particular, coffee (espresso) three times a day as this stimulated the CSF production. Amazingly, this made a huge difference which led to my discharge on 30 December.
A BLESSING IN DISGUISE…
Little did I know that this experience would lead to the discovery of a more serious condition. From the multiple MRI and nuclear scans, the scan of the neck area required further investigation, which led to the finding of a tumour of undetermined significance lodged deep beneath my right salivary gland. The delicate procedure of removing the tumour, as well as my right salivary gland, proceeded smoothly with my facial nerve kept intact by my skilful surgeon. The good news was that the tumour and several lymph nodes removed were benign. Had it not been for the December episode, this discovery of a totally unrelated issue would not have come to light.
THANKFUL FOR OUR COMMUNITY OF FAITH…
Alicia Winoto
What is clear to me is that no matter how much we undergo, we can cling on to the precious truth that He will never let us experience more than what we can withstand or bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). What also enabled me to go through this episode was the tremendous support, love and care from HVMC. The Lord further reinforced what it means to be a family in our community of faith. Having ACS (International) alumnus from our School Ministry, Alicia Winoto, praying and checking in on me at strategic points into the new year and little Nathan’s prayers the night before my delicate procedure in May was indeed balm to my soul. The practical gifts of support, prayers, love and care extended by my life group and various church members, as we “bear one another's burdens” (Galatians 6:2), indeed exemplify that loving God and loving others truly matter. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for one another.
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